Obviously, she's be mysterious and drink too much vodka and for no reason at all she'd throw crockery and furniture - and I strongly suspect she'd smoke like a chimney. Nice.
I want to date a girl called Natasha because I'm just sick of London girls - I'm sick of girls who always know the name of the new trendiest club, I'm sick of girls who care about global warming, I'm sick of girls who have opinions about wine, I'm very sick of girls who slag off men all the fucking time, of girls who think world music is massively important and of girls who genuinely believe the arts are more important than the sciences.
London girls are rubbish. London girls are boring. London girls need bloody therapy.
Natasha, she'd be different - mostly because she doesn't exist and therefore manages to avoid being a git.
These days every girl in London doesn't just think, she knows absolutely that she's smarter than any man she'll ever meet, that she's more emotionally intuitive than any man she'll ever meet, that she's more in touch with her feelings than any man she'll ever meet. Girls in London hate the men they date and hate the men they marry, they despise them. And they never stop punishing you for being so crap.
So, once the house is fixed up I'm looking for a girl called Natasha - she has to smoke like a chimney, wear jeans and a fur hat, hate baby seals and love dogs (not literally, for obvious reasons).
I'm so ready to get into the mountains, you can't believe it. Just anything to escape the psychic stench of London and the twats who thnk they're cool because they live there.
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